Feeling Safe To Open Up, After Being Let Down….


take the leap

I could write a novel on this subject.  We all get our hopes up about something.  Anything, you name it.  An event coming up that once past, lacked the luster you had hoped it would have.  Depended on that other person you had hoped would not let you down when suddenly, they did.  Looked forward to taking the ‘Leap of Faith’ as they call it and found yourself either a) plummeting at an alarming rate with no ground in site, b) rethinking the whole thing and bailing at the last minute or c) jumping and finding yourself immediately flat on the floor with noone around to assist you back on your feet.  List any goal here _____ and if it didn’t meet your expectations, you can find yourself quite resentful over time.  How many times have you tried?  Have you tried at all?  Have you tried so many times you’re exhausted and are looking for a little hole to curl up in?

It isn’t easy putting yourself out there.  Whether it’s to meet a new partner, start a business, or change direction in any area of life that goes against what many around you think is right for you.  It is down right scary.  The first couple times especially can be daunting, like standing on a diving board hesitating over and over, some of us have that cheeky friend who will finally lose patience and just give us a shove!  What holds us back?  Fear of the unknown?  Fear of being judged by others?  Fear of letting others down?  A nagging lack of confidence in ourselves?  So many things ‘Written on our Wall’s’ that create a whole dialogue as we stand exposed and vulnerable on that diving board.  ‘Everyone is staring at me waiting for me to just do it, I hate everyone looking at me’, ‘ What if everyone laughs?’ ‘ What if I can’t do what I think I can do, What was I thinking?’ ‘I have never been good at this stuff what makes me think I can now?’ ‘I have seen others do this and it went bad!’ ‘I tried this once a long time ago and I failed’ Even ‘What if I succeed, then what??? Yikes’.  A long list of comments coming from past experiences, conversations, trusted authorities, can get noisy during a ‘Leap of Faith’ situation.

What if you jumped but mid air you realized, ooops!  ‘I should have done more homework first!’  ‘I wasn’t as prepared as I thought!’ ‘ This is scarier then I thought it would be, let me go back now please!!’  Of course many of us have been here especially entrepreneurs or anyone who has had the guts to jump for the first time and realized perhaps having had a bit more time organizing and planning might have been helpful.  But what if we thought we had prepared enough, organized enough or simply had faith that we would be connected to, somehow, the right people at the right time?  Perhaps we had hoped that when people advised, ‘You’re never REALLY ready’ that they knew a secret that you didn’t.  Maybe they had been there and the right circumstances found their way to them and brought them success!  Like Magic!!

What if you have jumped so many times you can’t remember a life that felt secure?  Maybe you have been searching for so long for that final destination of success/perfect weight/loving partner/ that you are not even sure if you would recognize it if you saw it?  Time after time, day after day, day in and day out, trying new things, reaching new heights and sampling paths, that things are starting to look the same, and the ‘Same’ does not feel safe, comfortable, or happily conclusive in any way you had initially imagined.  How empty you can feel, how lost and how disenchanted with anyone who tries to re inspire you to, ‘Just try one more Leap of Faith!’  Yikes!  You feel as though if you even tried to muster the energy to hop you would be happy!

Men

In any capacity, personal, professional we always feel like a little kid when trying something new, or going against the grain.  If you feel this way you are not alone.  What it comes down to is that we are just a bunch of kids, trapped in big bodies trying to play grown up and ‘Adulting’ has always looked and felt hard!  When we take it even farther to someone who feels compelled to reach goals that expand out further then simply our inner circle of efforts involving the basic needs, jobs, relationships, where noone has gone before, attempting to change the world for the better,  we look in the mirror and try to convince ourselves that we are crazy!

So where do we start?  1st of all we need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves!  We over complicate like EVERYTHING!  We need to decide what we want.  Some people would stop me here and say, ‘Well I don’t know what I want’. The best way to clarify that is to start a list on Everything you DON’T want, many people have a quick reflex list on that LOL!  When you clarify what you do want, and you feel an overwhelming passion to execute it, ask what it is you need to get it.  If you don’t know ask others you trust, get educated in any manner you need to to get the information you need.  Educating yourself dispels  A LOT of fear right away!  Then STOP comparing yourself to other people.  Think of how much time you spend thinking about, judging, analyzing and criticizing yourself.  That leaves very little time to spend thinking about anybody else, so trust me when I say everyone else is equally as self centered and many of the people you think are sitting around thinking about you really have used up all their thinking time on themselves too.  So the judgment you think is being directed at you from other people is actually all made up in your head!  Everyone is too busy contemplating their own dramas!  So now that we know that everyone else is in the same predicament we are, we can move forward realizing the only limitations are the ones we put on ourselves.  So where do those come from?  All the noise in our heads from taped conversations, experiences, and beliefs passed down from parents, siblings, teachers and other authority figures.  Those we thought of as superheroes and wise beings when we were kids were just like us now.  They doubted themselves, critiqued themselves, made mistakes and sometimes behaved badly but we still, as children, treated them as All Knowing Gods!  So we sucked up all they knew like sponges.  But in soaking everything up we got some stuff downloaded into our mega brain computers that didn’t suit us, didn’t belong to us, actually hold us back!  Many of these things prevent us from being happy, healthy and successful.  We don’t always see what we need to work on so the universe helps out by sending us, challenges, professionally and personally to help us ‘SEE’ what we need to clear up.  Now many people spend life times struggling with this.  This is why I became a Certified Holistic Life Coach and Energy Psychologist.  I had the opportunity to be guided by an incredible Holistic Life Coach who acted as a trusted adviser, mentor and co journey-men on my path to a cleaner ‘Wall’.  Having less negative programs etched into my wall I find myself stronger and stronger every day, meeting challenges with a survivor tool kit of skills and awareness that assists me even when I don’t share the path as often with my trusted adviser, I can now rely on my own guidance with confidence and faith.  My goal is to share this experience with others so that no matter your circumstances you can always feel confident and full of faith even when things seem at their bleakest.  Learning how to navigate in this manner does not eliminate challenges, it changes how you see them.  This way it allows you to have a more stable deep inner happiness that is unshakable.

Now I understand I took you through a dialogue that in some ways feels familiar but in others completely foreign, so if you find yourself fascinated, intrigued or even remotely REinspired to take, just one more ‘Leap of Faith’ Let ME be your co pilot!  Together who knows what you could achieve, when you are not alone and feel safe to try again!

pilot

Xo

E

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