Ask someone about their Mother and you are opening Pandora’s box! You never know the answer you could get! As a Holistic Life Coach I have heard some doozies! Some might not have ever met their mom, others may have been abandoned by them, still others neglected or let down, and their are those who worship their Mother’s. No two are alike, some are more like friends, some like jail keepers, but whatever shape they have taken through their own journey to parenthood to become who they are, ‘You Picked Her’! ‘What?’ you might say, yup their is a belief that before you journey here to this world to become a tiny helpless human being you sign a contract as spirit to learn certain lessons and grow spiritually. Without certain people ‘playing roles’ for you as abanders, neglecters, heros and saints, you wouldn’t have the life experiences necessary to evolve into the enlightened spirit you asked to become.
One of my favorite sayings is ‘ There is an Expiry Date to Blaming Your Parents’. But now with the added awareness that you actually picked the people who have done you wrong, or right, you can actually grow in gratitude towards them, which helps with healing yourself and showing forgiveness to them.
The relationship I have had with my own Mother under went a huge transformation as I studied to become a Holistic Life Coach and Energy Psychologist. I watched as my mother transformed in my eyes from being an amazing nurturer during illness, constant presence for support yet over controlling, detached, inaccessible, and co dependent, change into a fearful, mistrusting, insecure, lonely child that never felt good enough or loved enough to feel secure in any relationship. The actions she took as a parent were motivated from this place of victim-hood, fear and a desperate attempt to control whatever she could in a world where we can control nothing, accept our own emotions and reality, which she was never taught. I began to feel sorry for her, empathize with her, sympathize with her. I began to forgive her. I finally accepted her, knowing that her reality was in her hands, not mine, the guilt trips directed at me to control me were her desperate attempts to keep me safe and hold me close for as long as she could, and not able to put into words.
To this date, we both have a lot to learn, she has her path I have mine, but when all is said and done, I CHOOSE to remember the good memories, I empathize with her humanness and I accept her fully and unconditionally with love and gratitude for the role I asked her to play in my life so I might extract the lessons I needed in this life time. I also recognize the role’s I am currently playing for my own children, some positive, some negative, with one strong defiant response to their complaints, ‘You Picked Me!’
(This Pic is missing on young man!)
So for that my beloved Mother, I thank you! Happy Mother’s day, for all you have done for me and still do, xoxo
Want to Heal your relationship with your Mother? Let me assist with your journey! 519-404-6627