Being Comfortable with Getting Messy

Without a struggle there can be no progress

– Frederick Douglass

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance

– Alan Watts

“You can’t stop the future You can’t rewind the past The only way to learn the secret …is to press play.”

 ― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
Lao Tzu

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”
C. JoyBell C.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.”
Katharine Hepburn, Me: Stories of My Life

If we MIND CHANGE we simply must CHANGE our MIND

– Erin Kiers


Change is usually messy.  Try changing a diaper sometime you will know what I’m talking about.  Clean out your closet to find things you need to donate throw out or mend.  Try resisting change sometime…Your baby will not let you avoid it, it will scream until you change them and if you resist you will find one awful mess in response.  You can resist cleaning out the closet but you will slowly lose room for new more suited attire.  You could pretend that everything is fine as it is, living in the illusion that even though subtle change is inevitable that nothing is Really changing, but then you will have no choice but to be hit over the head with it when you step out in your platform shoes and bell bottom pants.  Friends change, people pass away, jobs come and go, bodies age.  Change is inevitable.  How we choose to meet it is what proves who we are and how far we have come in our mental physical and emotional growth.  Interestingly how we use the term ‘Change’ for money, as we ex-change it for something new, different, ,more useful.  In order to embrace change we must first recognize what motivates change.  Resistance.  Well that right there sounds messy.  Resistance is created from discomfort, like a snake needing to shed its skin or a lobster its shell.  We outgrow something, a situation, the usefulness or lack of something and recognize we MUST do something about it, enough is enough!  Sometimes we try to look the other way and ignore it, but like the snake and the lobster if we deny the need for change we actually write our doom.  When we try to Resist the Resistance needed for change or the catalyst of change we prevent our alchemic transformation to butterfly or diamond.  We neglect our purpose, our very reason for having this life opportunity which is to grow and learn and experience.  We might stay in suffering, or limit our potential, or keep those we love in pain.  Without recognizing the current need for change we fail to see the opportunity right in front of us to create something better.


 Lately quite often I am faced with how so many of us are so deeply trained to believe that what culture has lead us to believe is essential and priority is holding people back into what I call Zombie mode.  They become perplexed with spiraling feeling self depression, overwhelm and exasperation.  Why?  Because what was meant to be our purpose, focus, motivation is not ours, its a pre programed pablum fed version of what we should be, what we want, how we want, when we want, who we want, where we want, why we want.  This is done by statements like, ‘Most Desirable place to live’, ‘Highest wage earning potential’, ‘Sexiest Man/Woman alive’, ‘How to be the best at…..’.  Sounds like typical Magazine tag lines, but this is what we are raised on, through parents only wanting ‘The Best’ for us, Through Educational institutes influencing how to train for the most desirable positions to work, through possible mates judging value in us based on employment and gym membership stature.  As long as we believe there is a one size fits all to Love, Success, Health even Happiness, we will always fall short.  This creates a dissatisfaction because ther is dualism.  Dualism in what we are told that is in conflict with what we know to be true in our hearts.  This turns  into resistance which is where we make a decision.  We may agree that we don’t fit in and choose sadness, rejection and poverty mentally, emotionally and physically, or we choose to use the resistance to create CHANGE.This puts change in the positive light it deserves.  It honors it making it pregnant with hope and potential, it creates excitement and energy to move forward.  But in order to do that we have to get messy first. We must disagree with past programs, to release what no longer serves us and be ok with realizing that for a while you let yourself be ‘dupped’.  That jagged pill can slow you down, that’s ok, rushing through change can sometimes make it worst, so get COMFORTABLE with the feeling of being uncomfortable.  It helps you stay alert for new opportunities and prevents you from rushing blindly into old negative patterns simply disguised as a new nicely wrapped upgraded model of the previous version of disillusionment!  How does one get comfortable with the mess of change.  Awareness of your involvement of your past even if it was just agreeing with what others told you to believe.   Acceptance of responsibility you had of the past but now have for the new improved future  Forgiveness of yourself in that involvement and then permission to move forward allowing the process to evolve naturally extracting every lesson you need to sustain your new life with the firm foundation of the past lessons learned and integrated into your exciting new life!


Afraid?  That’s ok!  Use that to find others who can support you through it, as a co pilot, someone who has been there, done that and will continue to hold you accountable to your new goals.  Someone who will remind you that you CAN, and YOU WILL!  Come get comfortable with me, I am a well trained Co Pilot to new opportunities to true bliss, and your destination awaits.

Private, Couple and Group Coaching sessions are available 519-404-6627

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